Glowing Girl

Why God made Moms

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!

Why did  God make mothers?

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He  used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring

3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients  are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and  everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from  men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did  God give you Your mother & not some other mom?

1. We’re related

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than  other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your  mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need  to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom  marry your dad?

1. My  dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else  with him.

3. My grandma says that  Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at  your house?

1. Mom  doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home  & dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring  them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What  does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom  perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some  kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You  know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change  one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing  about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my  sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

I found this on madebig.com and I believe that if you laugh often you will be in good health. 

According to the study,laughter causes the tissue that forms
the inner lining of your blood vessels to expand to increase
the blood flow. Studies over the years have suggested that
laughing can also: Cause your brain to release endorphins that
create a positive feeling often known as a runner’s high.
Lower stress and stimulate your immune system. Improve your
mood, self-esteem and coping skills. All of this will in the
long run help your day to go much better and faster so just
remember to add laughter to your day and it can only be better.

I wanted to learn more about doing yoga. I researched it on the internet and found a good article on the benefits of yoga.

	Increasing Flexibility – yoga has positions that act upon the various joints of the body including those joints that are never really on the ‘radar screen’ let alone exercised.
	Increasing lubrication of the joints, ligaments and tendons – likewise, the well-researched yoga positions exercise the different tendons and ligaments of the body. Surprisingly it has been found that the body which may have been quite rigid starts experiencing a remarkable flexibility in even those parts which have not been consciously work upon. Why? It is here that the remarkable research behind yoga positions proves its mettle. Seemingly unrelated “non strenuous” yoga positions act upon certain parts of the body in an interrelated manner. When done together, they work in harmony to create a situation where flexibility is attained relatively easily.
	Massaging of ALL Organs of the Body – Yoga is perhaps the only form of activity which massages all the internal glands and organs of the body in a thorough manner, including those – such as the prostate – that hardly get externally stimulated during our entire lifetime. Yoga acts in a wholesome manner on the various body parts. This stimulation and massage of the organs in turn benefits us by keeping away disease and providing a forewarning at the first possible instance of a likely onset of disease or disorder. Complete Detoxification – By gently stretching muscles and joints as well as massaging the various organs, yoga ensures the optimum blood supply to various parts of the body. This helps in the flushing out of toxins from every nook and cranny as well as providing nourishment up to the last point. This leads to benefits such as delayed ageing, energy and a remarkable zest for life. Excellent toning of the muscles – Muscles that have become flaccid, weak or slothy are stimulated repeatedly to shed excess flab and flaccidity. Complete Detoxification – By gently stretching muscles and joints as well as massaging the various organs, yoga ensures the optimum blood supply to various parts of the body. This helps in the flushing out of toxins from every nook and cranny as well as providing nourishment up to the last point. This leads to benefits such as delayed ageing, energy and a remarkable zest for life. Excellent toning of the muscles – Muscles that have become flaccid, weak or slothy are stimulated repeatedly to shed excess flab and flaccidity.

 My aunt sent me an email that I found pretty informative/interesting…I thought that I would put it in my blog because I had found it quite interesting.

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled “Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this…)

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades – King David

Hearts – Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds – Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter “A”?

A. One thousand

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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?

A. Honey

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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father’s Day

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In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase……… “goodnight, sleep tight.”

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them “Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.”

It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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Don’t delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The

phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde

Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the

ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit

pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when…

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message..

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list..

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!

I received this in an email and found it to be really useful.  If you are having trouble with telemarketers I would strongly suggest that you use some of these tips.

Tips for

Handling

 Three Little Words That Work !!(1)The three little words are: “Hold On, Please…” Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.Then when you eventually hear the phone company’s “beep-beep-beep” tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting. (2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

I found this joke on madebig.com I thought it was pretty funny.  I had heard it somewhere before but I had forgotten about it.

So here it goes:

I needed a break but knew the boss wouldn’t let me go. So I
came up with an idea I thought would work. I hung upside down
from the ceiling and made funny noises. My coworker (who’s blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her I was pretending to be a light bulb so the boss would think I was crazy and
give me a few days off. A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was a light bulb. He replied “You’re clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.” I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my coworker followed me, the boss asked her where she thought she was going. She blurted out “I’m going home too! I can’t work in the dark!”

I have a friend who is getting married next week and I have her bridal shower today.  At the bridal shower we’re supposed to share some marriage advice.  I looked on madebig and found a question with answers to a similiar question.  I will most definately use some of the advice on madebig and also some advice that I have learned after being married for a little over 2 months.

Some of the advice that I found is:

• Always be best friends, and keep your sense of humor. You’re going to need it! My husband makes me laugh all the time. You just can’t sweat the small stuff. Stop and ask yourself “Is this going to make a difference in our lives tomorrow or next week?” If it isn’t, why get all upset about it?
• Never go to bed angry
• 1. Communicate 2. Communicate 3. Communicate and I feel that is the secret to a successful marriage. If you can talk things over and come to an agreement or a compromise then you can move on without the misunderstanding, anger and fighting that so often happens.
• Live each day the same way they felt for each other the day they fell in love. Love is a very powerful feeling therefore if they can hold on to it, they will live a very lovely life together.
• Never take marriage for granted, you work on it every day. Never go to bed when mad at each other and be sure to compliment each other and wish each other well.

I found this site on the internet with some marriage advice from kids I found some of them really cute.  I found it while looking for some advice for a friend who I have a bridal shower for tomorrow night.  Some of the advice that the kids give is really funny. 

Some of the advice that the children gave is:

How Do You Decide Who To Marry?
 You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
Kirsten, age 10

What is the Right Age To Get Married?Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6

How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8What Do Your Think Your Mom and Dad Have In Common?Both don’t want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

What Do Most People Do On A Date?Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8

What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9

When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?When they’re rich.
Pam, age 7The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7

Is It Better To Be Single or Married?It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9

How Would The World Be Different If People Didn’t Get Married?There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
Kelvin, age 8

How Would You Make a Marriage Work? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.Ricky, age 10
Source: Chef2Chef

I found some really funny dumb blonde movie on youtube.  I will post it up here, I thought it was hilarious.  I love dumb blonde jokes.  I am a blonde but I would never do what they say that us blondes do in those jokes, but I find them funny anyway.

Two Horses and a Blonde

One day
A blonde buys two horses but she can’t tell them apart so she calls up her friend
and says,” I got these two horses but I can’t tell them apart. What should I do?”
Her friend says try tying a ribbon in one of your horses tails.” The next day the
blonde calls back and says,” It didn’t work the ribbon came out. What now.” So
her friend says,” Try spray painting one of your horses manes.” The blonde calls back
the next day and says,”The spray paint washed out.” So her friend says,”I am all
out of ideas.” So the next day the blonde calls back and says,”I just figured out
that the white horse is ten inches taller than the black horse!”